You’re in bed. The decision you made today starts replaying. Then the conversation that didn’t sit right. Then the thing you promised, and the thing you didn’t. The body is tired, but the mind keeps sorting through the day, and sleep drifts further away.
Here is a simple practice for exactly this. You do it every night, before bed, and over time it can change the whole feel of your life. Nothing to believe, nothing to learn.
Every night, go over your DEEPP: Decisions, Events, Exchanges, Promises and commitments, and People. One at a time, you find what is still holding you, and you let it be okay.
Step 1: Look for what’s unfinished. Go back through the day. Any decision you made, are about to make, or keep turning over. Any exchange with someone, or with yourself, that left a heavy feeling. Any promise or commitment, made, broken, or unmet, on either side. Any person still playing in your head. You are not solving these. You are just noticing where there is a knot of uneasiness.
Step 2: Feel it, then say good to it. First, let yourself feel it. Don’t rush past it. Sit with it for a moment, and give yourself the chance to handle whatever actually needs handling. Then, could you allow it to be good? You made a bad decision? Good. A good one? Good. Life has a flow, and the only one blocking it is you. Of course you still do what the day needs: work, the doctor, the psychologist, the rabbi, the priest, obey the law, whatever must be done. But right now, exactly as you are, you can put down the weight of it.
Say you made a bad decision. You can beat yourself up, replay it over and over, or you can say good, and mean it. Not “good, I’ll ignore it,” but “good, I allow this to be as it is.” When you allow it, something shifts, and whatever you then do about it, if anything, comes easier.
Step 3: Ease the body. If the uneasiness left something in the body, a tightness, a heaviness, simply relax and ease that spot. Let the mind follow the body. As the body eases, you may notice the mind ease with it.
Step 4: Stay with it. This is the key. Keep at it until you can honestly say you are okay with that one. Not pretending. Actually okay.
Step 5: Move to the next. Go through the rest of your DEEPP the same way, one at a time.
Step 6: Don’t let the mind dismiss it. It is simple, so the mind will whisper that it cannot work. That is just the mind playing games. Simple is the point.
Done well, something shifts. A few minutes ago you were stuck inside your head, turning your day over and over. Now the grip loosens, and your attention opens outward, to something wider and quieter that isn’t about you at all. What was a storm is as still as the ocean floor.
It is a gift you can give yourself every night, and the more you do it, the more the quality of your life can change.
There is more to it, and some of it is better felt in person. But this is a place to start. If you care about the quality of your life, do it regularly. And if you are serious about it, work with me.