Here is a simple practice for exactly this. You do it every night, before bed, and over time it can change the whole feel of your life. Nothing to believe, nothing to learn.

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Every night, go over your DEEPP: Decisions, Events, Exchanges, Promises and commitments, and People. One at a time, you find what is still holding you, and you let it be okay.

Step 1: Look for what’s unfinished. Go back through the day. Any decision you made, are about to make, or keep turning over. Any exchange with someone, or with yourself, that left a heavy feeling. Any promise or commitment, made, broken, or unmet, on either side. Any person still playing in your head. You are not solving these. You are just noticing where there is a knot of uneasiness.

Step 2: Feel it, then say good to it. First, let yourself feel it. Don’t rush past it. Sit with it for a moment, and give yourself the chance to handle whatever actually needs handling. Then, could you allow it to be good? You made a bad decision? Good. A good one? Good. Life has a flow, and the only one blocking it is you. Of course you still do what the day needs: work, the doctor, the psychologist, the rabbi, the priest, obey the law, whatever must be done. But right now, exactly as you are, you can put down the weight of it.

Say you made a bad decision. You can beat yourself up, replay it over and over, or you can say good, and mean it. Not “good, I’ll ignore it,” but “good, I allow this to be as it is.” When you allow it, something shifts, and whatever you then do about it, if anything, comes easier.

Step 3: Ease the body. If the uneasiness left something in the body, a tightness, a heaviness, simply relax and ease that spot. Let the mind follow the body. As the body eases, you may notice the mind ease with it.

Step 4: Stay with it. This is the key. Keep at it until you can honestly say you are okay with that one. Not pretending. Actually okay.

Step 5: Move to the next. Go through the rest of your DEEPP the same way, one at a time.

Step 6: Don’t let the mind dismiss it. It is simple, so the mind will whisper that it cannot work. That is just the mind playing games. Simple is the point.

Done well, something shifts. A few minutes ago you were stuck inside your head, turning your day over and over. Now the grip loosens, and your attention opens outward, to something wider and quieter that isn’t about you at all. What was a storm is as still as the ocean floor.

It is a gift you can give yourself every night, and the more you do it, the more the quality of your life can change.

There is more to it, and some of it is better felt in person. But this is a place to start. If you care about the quality of your life, do it regularly. And if you are serious about it, work with me.

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Here’s the thing: telling yourself to stop thinking, to stop worrying, hasn’t worked. You’ve had enough of the day, you know your challenges, and at night, at least at night, you just want a break. You want to sleep, and sleep soundly.

Telling the mind to stop thinking is like telling water to stop being wet. The mind will not argue itself to sleep.

So don’t start with the mind. Start with the body.

You don’t have to lie still. Do whatever gives you a slight chance to focus. Then start where you are: find anywhere in the body that feels even slightly uneasy, and tell it to relax. Watch it ease. Do it again, and don’t skip the unrelated parts: the shoulders, the lower abdomen, the legs. Often the spot that seems to have nothing to do with how you feel is the one that helps most.

As the body eases, you’ll notice the mind getting quieter on its own. Because here’s what we get backwards: we assume you have to start with the mind. But it works the other way too. The mind’s ease can follow the body’s.

Here’s where most people quit too early: they feel a little ease and stop. Don’t. That first calm can be a brief break, so keep going. Relax, and relax again, for a while. The quiet you’re after is on the other side of repeating this, not doing it once.

If a thought comes, even one you don’t want, don’t block it. Let it come and go, and keep easing the body. And as you do, let your focus drift outward, to what’s around you rather than what’s inside your head, more and more. The less your focus is on the inside, the happier you may find yourself to be.

And this is only step one. There’s a deeper quiet underneath, and it opens the same simple way.

If this way speaks to you (no beliefs, no mantras, just a quieter body and mind), subscribe, and I’ll send the next one.

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Want to go further?

Sometimes this helps on your own, but the nights keep coming back, or you can feel there’s further to go, and you’d rather not go alone.

That’s what the private sessions are for. We get on a call, I help you find where it’s sitting in your body, and we soften it together, in real time. No teaching to sit through, no beliefs to take on. Just you, a little quieter than when we started.

Book a session →

I’m not a doctor or therapist. This is a simple practice I’ve used for years, shared as my own experience, not medical or psychological advice.

We live life as if we are sorting what is good, and what is bad. This thing we want in our life. That thing we do not. And we fight it. We fight not to have, not to experience what we do not want in our life, and we fight to get what we desire in life.

So back to the boss. You’re stressed from it. To a degree. Depending on the perceived risk, the history, and other things, you know your life better.

You prefer an agreement. Let’s imagine it as a circle. And the boss objecting, or disagreeing, let’s call that a square. So the mere fact that you want it to be a circle, while it is a square, is stressing you. But what if you allow the square to be a square, and a circle to be a circle? What if both are okay? What if any of these options are okay?

You see, this is where people mistake simple for weak. Because in my experience, if you merely allow a circle or a square to be okay, you are okay, even if it is a square, even if the boss disagrees with you, even if you know you are going to say things they are not going to like, and you are okay with them not liking it. Then you are much calmer. In the flow. Flow is being with what is: if it is a square, good; if it is a circle, good.

They will not like what you say? Call it a triangle. And you are good with the triangle? Fantastic.

For years I have used simple techniques to transform my life. For over fifteen of them I have not used pain medication, and I have transformed my life in so many ways. How? By consistently using powerful techniques that did not require me to learn new jargon or complicated methods, starting exactly where I am.

There is much more to it. Curious to learn more? If you’d rather not walk it alone, I work with people one-to-one.

Book a session →

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I’m not a doctor or therapist. This is a simple practice I’ve used for years, shared as my own experience — not medical or psychological advice.

We all heard about mindfulness, meditation, and other mind practices. But did you notice that people who are successful, start with an overwhelming sensation, they have some bodily sensation accompanying this, and they end up with quiet mind, and a quieter body. But what if the body is completely quiet? The same quiet you have sitting in front of the ocean, or in front of a beautiful nature?

One of the simplest ways to deal with it, is right now, locate when there is a bodily sensation less than perfect. Maybe a feeling of queasiness in the stomach, in the chest, some tightening of the shoulder, whatever you can find, and just relax it, yes, simply relax it, and more, let yourself tell it to relax it, and do it again, and more, and as you continue it relaxes even more, until you eventually feel what? The mind, the mind starts to be quieter.

You just started changing your body with your attention. Nothing else. And this is only the beginning.

We have so much more control than we think. For over 15 years I have not taken any pain killer, how? By following methods, that are simple, yet powerful, and I am going to share many of them with you. Try this. Let me know how it goes.

If this way speaks to you — no beliefs, no mantras, just a quieter body and mind — subscribe, and I’ll send the next one.

Want to go further?

Sometimes this helps on your own, but the worry keeps coming back — or you can feel there’s further to go, and you’d rather not go alone.

That’s what the private sessions are for. We get on a call, I help you find where it’s sitting in your body, and we soften it together — in real time. No teaching to sit through, no beliefs to take on. Just you, a little quieter than when we started.

Book a session

I'm not a doctor or therapist. This is a simple practice I've used for years, shared as my own experience — not medical or psychological advice.